Wow, it’s crazy. Usually I'm able to put the pen to the paper and everything just flows. However, with all that’s going on it seems as though Covid has dried my creative juices as well. Two days ago, I sat for a few hours and even shed a few tears because I was over it. I made some phone calls, listened to some music and prayed. I am used to being constantly on the go. In the past two years since being a flight attendant this is the first time that I've been in the same state, yet alone country, for over a month. As much as I find solace in my alone time I very much enjoy the company of others. So this has been a major adjustment, yet it was needed. I was going at a pace that did not enable me much time to connect intricately with myself. To listen to my inner thoughts, face myself and relive some unhealed insecurities.. Not dwelling in them but confronting them. To realign myself with my divine purpose and connect with my creator for longer periods of time.
I had to face it, this is my(our) new normal and while I want to be the upbeat version of myself who’s always ready... I had to learn to give myself grace, be as compassionate with myself as I am with others. We are all adjusting, trying our best to cope. Our minds are in survival mode and frankly this isn't the world as we’ve known before. While there are moments when I feel alive like I’m thriving, there are days when I feel equally as despondent and have a lack of drive to do much.
And that’s ok....
We have to be mindful of our mental well-being during these times of isolation, which can be triggering.
Parents are trying to be teachers, Students are adjusting to classes online..away from the structure of a classroom. Some of us are subjected to eating our own cooking :(
I am now Chef Jhay.. but dang I miss eating out every now and then.
I’m sure some of you, like me, have been isolated from your loved ones. My aunt, for example, had a brain aneurysm but due to borders being closed because of Rona I was subjected to phone call updates.. This left me feeling anxious, even helpless not being able to be there physically.
It’s difficult. The first few days at home were ok, but now it’s starting to take its toll on us. With all the posts about productivity and learning a skill.. can become intimidating. The culture in which we live always has us working and going. The expectations to still focus and be attentive even in the midst of these unprecedented times of global catastrophe and economic crisis, is mindblowing.
Remember, you are not obligated to succumb to these pressures of society. Who is to judge what is constituted as an appropriate use of our time. If eating, sleeping or simply just surviving is all you can do to get through this, that’s fine. However, it will get better and we will get through this. I know we didn’t expect 2020 to be like this but the beauty of life is that things do pass and if we look back we realize that we do make it though. Usually we end up better than we were before. Stronger, filled with more gratitude, more resilient and just a deeper appreciation for life. Just remember to take care of you.. Take a deep breath, meditate, go for a walk, reach out to friends/family, even a therapist if you feel as though it's entirely too difficult. Don’t be ashamed or afraid it’s perfectly ok and our emotional and mental well being is the driving force that we need to keep in shape like other aspects of our lives.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”. C.S Lewis
- Love Jhay
Room/Photograph: @kadi_doll
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