“It is in the quiet crucible of our personal private sufferings that our noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given often in compensation for what we have been through.”
THERAPY
It’s Christmas Eve. Here I am penning a blog that I said I would write some weeks ago. It seemed as though each time I penned a piece, I was writing for myself and not for public consumption, and that’s okay. Oftentimes, we forfeit taking care of our mental wellbeing for the sake of others. However, it is in the gift of giving to ourselves that we gain the abundance to overflow into others.
MIRACLES
As I review the goals that I set for the year, I realize that somehow God allowed most of them to happen, not in ways that I would have expected, but in ways only he could have intended.
FAVOR
As I look out the window at the formation of the clouds, as they dance through the atmosphere. Each has its own shape and form, yet they all move together. As I behold the vastness of the open skies, I realize that a few months ago, I thought this would be the end of the world for me. Yet here I am still working, & still able to see the goodness of the Lord.
GROWTH
This year was to be a year of harvest, but, truth be told it was a year of planting & prepping. My perspective on who God is and how he operates has shifted. I had to learn to trust him even when I couldn’t see his hands. This included not knowing when I would see my family overseas & the uncertainty of the next step in my professional life. Somehow, He made a way & I’m continually in awe of how He works. I’ve learned to leave room for Him to move. I’ve learned to praise Him when everything in me is fighting against it– to find peace in chaos and joy in my solitude.
RESILIENCE
I’ve learned that sometimes your healing comes in waves. There is a rush and then a push back, yet it’s still constant. I’m working on being patient with myself as much as I am with others. This year I’ve also experienced heartache time and time again. I saw my people being gunned down, yet we stood together. My community was drastically impacted by the virus, yet we persevered. The reopening of wounds not yet fully healed. I often asked why. But somehow, God has kept us. Black women united and came to the forefront to save this country from its mistakes. We saw the first Black woman of Caribbean and Indian descent elected to the office of Vice President.
GRACE
In my quiet time I revisited the subject of love. At times our hearts may be guarded, but at the end of it all, we are all seeking to be loved, heard and seen, even more in such unprecedented times. I made it my duty to be intentional with how I love myself. In doing so, I would be able to display that love to others as well as receive it. A beautiful revelation in reconciliation and forgiveness. I forgive myself for the moments I neglected me and the times I didn’t know where to begin with love. It’s strange, but oftentimes it’s hardest to forgive the ones we love the most. As I took time to be introspective, I’ve also been in need of forgiveness.
FAITH
If there was any time to trust God it would be now. I experienced abundance in the midst of scarcity. Abundant displays of his love tangibly through others– a kind word, a listening ear, a well-needed embrace. He is the ultimate provider. When we open our eyes to the ebb and flow of life, we realize that everything always falls into place. God is not a man that He should lie. His promise still holds true, that everything (meaning even the situations we perceive to be negative) works out for the good of those that love Him. So we must hold on and trust Him, no matter where the tides of life take us.
Thank you for joining me on this year's journey.. looking forward for more to come.
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Editors: Sevon Torrington & K. August Burton
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